I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
