don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize