Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
