im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
