The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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