they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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