Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
