i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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