this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
you never un-have a 4some
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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