So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
