I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize