what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
