Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
