It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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