I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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