he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
