he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
