She's JV to your varsity
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
