You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
The beer is more important than you right now.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
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