sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
