break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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