I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
