I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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