I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize