Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
