i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
