Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
