Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
