It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
is it fun? or sober?
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