Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
