Im at strip club and am horny
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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