From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
There's always time for handjobs
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Randomize
