Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
The uberlube is also flammable
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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