You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
