the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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