Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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