I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
