It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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