oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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