Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
