Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I deserve this hangover.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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