Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
