Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
