just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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