Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
