just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
