In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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