yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
