he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
