I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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