it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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