is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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