just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
