Don't you send me to vm
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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