i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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