oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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