Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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