Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
My ATM looks so different sober.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
