Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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