brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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