So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
whose parrot is this?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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