I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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