Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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