He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
