I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
