Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
