i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
