what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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