Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
