the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
