I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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