and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
as a side note pls kill me
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
